Starting Over: Embracing Life After Divorce at 50

Ending a marriage can feel like the end of everything. Divorce is tough, especially when it happens in your 50s. It can make you question who you are and what your future holds. But, from the pain of divorce, a new chapter can begin. This chapter can be filled with hope, self-discovery, and the chance to start anew.

Divorce at 50 comes with its own set of challenges. You’ll need to deal with complex financial matters and rebuild your social circle. But, with the right attitude and support, you can get through this and even flourish. Whether your divorce was sudden or a gradual process, remember you’re not alone. Many have gone through this before you, and their stories can inspire and guide you.

Key Takeaways

• Divorce at 50 is on the rise, with the term “gray divorce” describing this phenomenon.
• Men and women often face different post-divorce challenges, with men experiencing higher mortality rates.
• Finances, legal details, support systems, and self-care are critical factors to address during this transition.
• Embracing change and finding new passions can help you rebuild your life after divorce at 50.
• Seeking professional help and tapping into a supportive network can make the journey smoother.

What is a Gray Divorce?

The term “gray divorce” refers to couples over 50 ending their marriages¹. This trend is rising, thanks to more people accepting divorce and living longer. It changes what people expect after their kids leave home¹. Even though divorce rates have dropped, gray divorce has doubled from 1990 to 2019. For those 65 and older, it has almost tripled¹.

Understanding the Term “Gray Divorce”

The AARP coined “gray divorce” to highlight older adults ending marriages later in life¹. This trend shows divorce isn’t just for the young. It highlights the emotional and financial challenges for those in their 50s, 60s, and beyond.

Statistics on Gray Divorce Rates

Gray divorce statistics show a growing trend¹. From 4.9 in 1990 to 10.3 in 2017, the rate went up, with 344,755 gray divorces in 2017¹. Two-thirds of these divorces were initiated by women¹. The highest rates are in the West and South¹.

Gray divorce affects people emotionally and financially¹. Women see a 50% drop in wealth, and their standard of living falls by 45%¹. Men face health issues like cancer and depression, and are more likely to commit suicide than married men¹. Adult children may be far apart, and families might downsize due to money issues¹.

Gray divorce is complex, influenced by many factors¹²³. It’s important to understand this trend for those going through divorce later in life.

10 Things to Avoid for a Smoother Divorce After 50

Going through a divorce after 50 can feel tough, but avoiding certain mistakes can make it easier. Here are 10 things to keep in mind to help you through:

1. Not Staying on Top of Finances: Divorce can be complex, with many assets and debts to consider⁴. It’s important to understand the financial impact, including taxes and retirement plans, for stability⁴.
2. Ignoring the Legal Details: The legal process can be tough, but ignoring it can lead to big mistakes⁴. A good divorce lawyer is key to getting a fair deal⁴.
3. Disregarding Friends and Family Support: Divorce is hard on the heart, but support from loved ones is crucial. Don’t be alone; talk to your friends, join groups, and do things that make you happy.
4. Forgetting Logic and Planning: It’s easy to act on feelings, not logic during a divorce⁵. Stay calm and plan carefully, focusing on practical solutions⁵. Good financial planning helps a lot⁵.
5. Avoiding Health Insurance: Keeping good health insurance is key, especially after a divorce. Make sure you have a solid plan for your health and well-being.
6. Not Listing Your Assets: It’s vital to list all your assets for a fair split. Leaving out or underestimating them can hurt you in the settlement.
7. Overlooking Retirement Details: Divorce can affect your retirement plans a lot⁴. You might need to adjust your retirement goals or rethink them⁴.
8. Omitting the Children’s Well-being: If you have kids, focus on their feelings and keeping a good relationship with them. Get professional help to handle this part of the divorce.
9. Becoming Bitter and Resentful: It’s normal to feel many emotions during and after a divorce, but don’t let bitterness stop you from moving on. Work on healing and staying positive.
10. Neglecting the Future: The immediate post-divorce can be tough, but don’t forget about the future⁵. Plan for your finances, manage debt, and think about career changes⁵.

Divorce after 50 is tough, but avoiding these mistakes can make it easier. It’s a chance to start anew and move forward with strength and hope.

Not Staying on Top of Finances

Divorce can be tough on both your feelings and wallet. It’s key to keep track of your money during this time to dodge unexpected costs. Many people over 50 find themselves shocked by the financial effects of their divorce, leading to a drop in their lifestyle⁶.

Women often face a bigger financial setback after a gray divorce. The U.S. Census Bureau says 20% of women end up in poverty after divorce⁷. This is partly because of the ongoing pay gap, making it hard for women to bounce back financially⁶. Women also usually have less saved for retirement, and losing a partner’s income can hit hard⁸.

To dodge financial shocks, knowing what you own and owe is crucial. This means understanding your share of the family home and any debts⁷. Trying to hide assets in divorce can lead to serious legal trouble, like getting more assets taken away or even fraud charges⁷.

Handling the financial side of a gray divorce can feel like a lot, but getting help can really help. The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA) suggests having a divorce lawyer and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) on your team for a smooth split⁷. These pros can guide you through your finances, protect your rights, and help you make smart choices about dividing property, alimony, and other big financial issues.

Keeping a close eye on your finances during a gray divorce can mean the difference between a smooth move forward and a financial disaster. By knowing your assets and debts, getting expert advice, and making smart choices, you can come out of your divorce stronger financially. This sets you up well for what’s next in your life.

Ignoring the Legal Details

Going through a divorce can feel overwhelming, but it’s key to understand the legal side for a smoother process. Researching the legal process prepares you for the challenges ahead during this tough time.

Researching the Legal Process

Divorce laws change by state and case specifics. Knowing your state’s divorce laws is vital to grasp your rights and duties⁹. Many couples divorce later in life for reasons like infidelity, money issues, regrets, or wanting independence⁹. Divorcing later in life often means less time to get back on your financial feet, affecting your financial planning⁹.

It’s best if you and your ex agree on divorce terms, like splitting assets, alimony, and custody¹⁰. Agreeing on these matters makes the process quicker and cheaper¹⁰. But, if one spouse won’t cooperate, things get harder and might need a court’s help¹⁰. If one spouse won’t sign the papers, you’ll need a court to step in¹⁰.

Knowing the legal steps helps you handle your divorce better⁹. When dividing assets later in life, think about the house, retirement, and Social Security⁹. Keeping the house can offer tax perks, rental income, and equity⁹. Dividing retirement benefits might need a QDRO and thinking about taxes⁹. After divorce, Social Security benefits depend on your marriage length, ages, and eligibility⁹.

By looking into the legal process, you can make smart choices, safeguard your rights, and aim for a fair divorce¹¹. Divorce rates jump for those aged 50-70, showing a rise in “grey divorces”¹¹. Getting legal advice can guide you through the divorce and help you decide wisely for your future.

“Knowing the legal details can help you navigate the divorce process more smoothly.”

Disregarding Friends and Family Support

Going through a divorce later in life can feel very isolating¹². A friend in the story saw their 20-year marriage end in divorce¹². Divorce is seen as the second most stressful event after losing a loved one¹². It starts a tough grieving process for many¹².

Many see divorce as losing a part of themselves, their identity, and their future¹². It’s like losing a future once shared with a partner.

The Importance of a Support System

It’s key to have a strong support system during tough times¹². In the last year, the friend faced many losses, including losing a partner and shared traditions¹². Feeling cut off from family made things harder¹².

Divorce can bring feelings of guilt and shame, making people feel left out¹². Friends might not always be there, especially when one is going through a tough time¹³. People might turn to drinking or seek many relationships instead of deep connections¹³.

Being there and patient are key ways to support a friend going through divorce.¹³ Hard times can actually make friendships stronger¹³.

Remember, you’re not alone if you’re going through a divorce at 50¹⁴. About half of marriages end in divorce¹⁴. The author’s 25-year marriage ended due to infidelity six years ago¹⁴.

The article talks about how divorce affects friendships and social life¹⁴. It shares stories of friends who left the author during her divorce¹⁴. The article stresses the need for ongoing support for divorced people for a long time.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18¹⁴

Reaching out to friends and family can help build a strong support system during this change¹⁴. The article gives tips on how to support friends going through divorce¹⁴. It says it’s important to listen and offer comfort, not advice¹²¹³¹⁴.

Forgetting Logic and Planning

It’s easy to think there’s no life after divorce¹⁵. The end of your marriage might not follow the usual steps, like one person leaving or lawyers getting involved¹⁵. Instead, think about spending time with friends or doing things you love. What else might you try? Getting divorced is like solving a problem, so how will you use your time and energy?

Ending a marriage can feel huge, but stay calm and think clearly¹⁶. The fact that the other person saw themselves as the main breadwinner shows they were financially stable¹⁶. Planning and setting goals can help you move forward and look to the future.

1. Look at your personal and financial goals. What do you want to achieve soon?
2. Make time for things that make you happy and give you purpose. This could be a hobby, helping others, or catching up with friends.
3. Reach out to family and friends for support¹⁵. Coming from a Mormon background, the ideal family was seen as a husband, a wife, and kids¹⁵. Your loved ones can be a big help during this time.
4. Think about getting help from a therapist or divorce coach to deal with your feelings and find ways to cope.

Remember, divorce doesn’t end your story¹⁷. Dr. John Gottman can predict divorce with high accuracy and stresses the need for love and respect in relationships¹⁷. With the right attitude and a good plan, you can come out of this experience stronger and more resilient.

“Reconnecting through past happy events and memories can strengthen a couple’s bond¹⁷. Couples should focus on the good things their partner does, building admiration and connection.” – Dr. John Gottman

By using logic and planning, you can turn divorce into a chance for growth and a new purpose¹⁵. The couple aimed to handle their divorce legally on their own¹⁵. Face this new chapter with strength and an open mind, and you’ll find a fulfilling life after 50.

Avoiding Health Insurance

Going through a divorce at 50 can be tough, but thinking about your health insurance is key. Over 1 in 3 people who divorce in the U.S. are 50 or older, and 1 in 4 are 65 or older¹⁸. It’s vital to make sure you have health coverage to protect you during this change.

If your health insurance was linked to your spouse’s job, you might get COBRA coverage for up to 36 months after the divorce¹⁸. People 65 or older who haven’t joined Medicare yet might also qualify if they were married for at least 10 years¹⁸. But, those who haven’t worked long enough to qualify for Medicare Part A could pay up to $506 per month in 2023¹⁸. Those who worked for 30 to 39 quarters might pay $278 per month¹⁸.

Divorce can also change how much you pay for Medicare Part B and Part D, especially if your income goes up or down¹⁸. It’s smart to talk to a healthcare expert or financial advisor to help you choose the right health insurance.

Putting your health insurance first during this time helps keep you healthy and happy as you start a new chapter¹⁹. You might look into the AARP Travel Rewards Mastercard from Barclays, which gives 3% cash back on flights, hotels, and car rentals¹⁹. Or, you could check out Consumer Cellular’s no-contract deals, offering unlimited talk, text, and data for $55 a month with no activation fee¹⁹.

Choosing the right health insurance during a divorce at 50 is crucial for a smooth transition and a healthy future¹⁹. By protecting your health, you can focus on starting fresh and enjoying life after divorce.

Not Listing Your Assets

When you’re getting a divorce after 50, it’s key to list your assets well. A gray divorce can be tricky, especially with money matters²⁰. Even if you want a friendly split, knowing what you own is crucial. This knowledge helps divide assets fairly.

Assets in a gray divorce include homes, investments, retirement funds, and other items you’ve gathered over the years²¹. Not listing or valuing these correctly can cause big problems. You might lose what’s rightfully yours or the other spouse might get too much²⁰.

To dodge these issues, team up with a financial advisor and your lawyer for a detailed asset check²². You might need appraisers for unique or tricky assets to get their true value²².

By carefully listing and valuing your assets, you safeguard your finances and make divorce smoother²¹. Knowing what you own helps you make smart choices about dividing property, alimony, and other money matters. This leads to a better outcome as you move forward.

Dealing with a gray divorce is tough, but being organized and proactive with your assets helps a lot²⁰. Remember, knowing your assets well is key for a successful divorce at 50.

Overlooking Retirement Details

When you’re going through a divorce at 50, make sure to check your retirement plan carefully. Make sure it’s separate from your ex’s if you need to²³. You might need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to split retirement savings like 401(k)s and IRAs²³. Also, think about the taxes on any withdrawals you might make to avoid surprises²³.

Divorces later in life, known as gray divorce, are becoming more common²⁴. In fact, more people aged 65 and up are getting divorced than ever before²⁴. This change is linked to shifts in family life and marrying later in life²⁴. Older couples getting divorced often face big financial challenges, like paying for kids’ college, which must be considered in the divorce²⁴.

Things like inflation can really affect your retirement savings and living costs, especially for divorces later in life²⁴. For those in jobs with early retirement, the gap between government retirement age and actual retirement can make divorce settlements tricky²⁴.

By carefully looking at these retirement details, you can make the move after divorce smoother and more secure²⁵.

Omitting the Children’s Well-being

Divorce at 50 can be tough. It’s key to focus on your kids’ well-being²⁶. Your kids, aged 7, 4, and 2, feel the impact too. It’s vital to keep your feelings in check and meet their needs during this hard time.

Consider a story of a friend’s parents who waited till their son was 18 before divorcing. Yet, he struggled in his mid-40s²⁷. This shows that staying together for the kids can hurt everyone emotionally.

Managing Emotions for the Children’s Sake

Divorce can be tough, but it can also lead to better co-parenting for the kids²⁶. Keeping a good co-parenting relationship is key for your kids’ well-being²⁶. Moving from a failed marriage to successful co-parenting is a big step in rebuilding your life at 50.

Studies show that home conflicts hurt kids more than divorce itself²⁷. By controlling your feelings and working together with your ex, you can lessen the harm to your kids. This helps them grow strong in a supportive environment.

• Remember, your kids’ emotional health is most important during this change.
• Work on talking well with your ex to make co-parenting easier.
• Get help from a therapist or family counselor to deal with divorce feelings.
• Let your kids share their feelings and worries with you.
• Put your kids first and make a safe, loving space for them, even as you move on.

By managing your feelings and focusing on your kids, you can handle divorce well²⁶. Moving from a failed marriage to a strong co-parenting bond is a key step in rebuilding your life at 50.

“Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be a disaster. With the right approach, you can create a stable, nurturing environment for your children and build a positive co-parenting relationship.”

Becoming Bitter and Resentful

Going through a divorce at 50 can be tough. You might feel angry, resentful, or betrayed. Choosing how to deal with these feelings can change your life²⁸.

There are many reasons for feeling angry or resentful after a divorce. These include things like infidelity or not solving problems during the divorce²⁸. Feeling mad and having kids involved can make things worse²⁸. If you let these feelings grow, they can hurt your new relationships and work life²⁸.

Staying angry can make you feel alone. Friends and family might step back because of the tension²⁸. Also, fighting over money because of anger can cost a lot and reduce what you have²⁸. Kids seeing a lot of anger might start to think it’s normal, which can be bad for them²⁸.

It’s okay to feel many things after a divorce. But it’s important to deal with them in a good way²⁹. Accepting your feelings, thinking about them, and wanting to grow can help you move forward. Grace, patience, and inner peace can help you heal²⁸.

“The choice to either embrace these emotions or move past them can significantly impact the trajectory of your life going forward.”

Seeing how bitterness and resentment can hurt, and working to let go, can lead to a better life²⁹. It’s not easy, but with the right ways to cope and support, you can turn divorce pain into growth³⁰.

Neglecting the Future

Going through a divorce at 50 means you shouldn’t just focus on getting by. It’s key to move past the initial pain and see it as a chance for growth and a new chapter³¹. Think of it as a fresh start to redefine yourself and write your next great story.

Start by asking yourself some big questions: What really gets you excited? How can you turn those passions into life goals? What will you learn from this big change? What does your future look like in 5 years³¹? Be open to new ideas and dream big. At 50, you have the energy and wisdom to start anew.

Embracing Divorce as an Opportunity

Ending a marriage is tough, but it can also open new doors³². Staying in a bad marriage can hurt your wallet, health, and mood. But divorce can lead to growth, success, and a truer life³².

Many worry about the unknown after divorce, like losing money or feeling alone³². But with a positive outlook and support, it can spark positive changes³². Seeing divorce as a chance for a new start has worked for people like Martha Stewart, Elizabeth Gilbert, and J.K. Rowling.

Understanding the legal steps and getting support can help you get through divorce with a new purpose³². It’s all about seeing this as a chance to remake your life and follow your dreams.

“Divorce is not the end of the world, but rather the beginning of a new chapter. It’s an opportunity to rediscover yourself and design the life you truly want.”

At 50, you’re still full of life and wisdom to start anew. Embrace the challenges, let go of the past, and look forward to what’s next³¹. This change can help you find new passions, make deep connections, and live a life that fulfills you.

How to Rebuild Life After Divorced at 50

Divorce at 50 can be tough and emotional. Yet, it’s also a chance for growth and a new start. By going through divorce recovery, you can become stronger and ready for the next chapter.

Mourning Your Married Self

First, accept and mourn the loss of your married life. Divorce is a big change, and feeling sad is normal. Use journaling, therapy, or self-care to work through your feelings³³.

Leveraging Your Support Network

It’s key to rely on friends, family, and loved ones during this time. They offer support, a listening ear, and help as you start anew. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it³⁴.

Testing Out the “New You”

Try new hobbies and activities to find what you love. This helps you discover new passions and become a “new you”. Try different classes or volunteer work to find joy and fulfillment³⁵.

Developing Coping Strategies

Divorce can be stressful, so it’s vital to find ways to cope. Consider mindfulness, exercise, or counseling to manage your feelings. Make self-care a key part of your life³⁴.

Triggering Your Curiosity

Use your curiosity to grow and learn. See this new chapter as a chance to be open-minded and explore. Be brave, try new things, and find new passions³⁵.

Rebuilding your life after divorce at 50 can change you for the better. By mourning your past, using your support network, trying new things, coping strategies, and being curious, you can come out stronger. Welcome this chance for divorce recovery and divorce self-discovery. Let your new chapter start.

Inspiring Stories of Life After Divorce at 50

The women in this section show that finding yourself again is possible after a 50s divorce³⁶. Lisa, CJ, Jill, and Debby’s stories are proof. They show how divorce can boost your energy and wisdom, helping you find your true path. Their stories of starting anew, facing challenges, and finding happiness are inspiring. They offer valuable lessons for others going through divorce.

Lisa’s Story

Lisa was 54 when her 25-year marriage ended³⁶. She felt lost, thinking divorce at 50 meant her life was over³⁶. But she soon saw it as a chance to find herself³⁶. She took up new hobbies, joined a group, and got back into painting³⁶. Now, Lisa feels empowered and happier than ever, loving her new freedom.

CJ’s Story

CJ’s 19-year marriage ended at 57, making her question her identity³⁶. With support, she realized she was more than just a wife and mom³⁶. She took control of her money³⁶ and tried online dating, finding love again³⁷. CJ’s journey shows how divorce can lead to personal growth and empowerment.

Jill’s Story

Jill was 71 when her 50-year marriage ended³⁸. The shock was huge³⁶, but she didn’t let it define her³⁶. She got help³⁸ and learned a lot about herself³⁶. Now, Jill lives on her own³⁸ and is happier than ever, feeling free and purposeful.

Debby’s Story

Debby was 47 when she ended her 25-year marriage³⁸. It was tough³⁶, but she wanted to take charge of her life³⁶. She focused on what made her happy³⁶, and in two years, she found a new partner who loves her for who she is³⁷. Debby’s story shows the strength of women who start over after divorce.

These stories show that divorce at 50 can be a chance for growth and new beginnings. They inspire us to see divorce as a time to discover ourselves and create a fulfilling future³⁶³⁷³⁸.

Conclusion

Starting life after divorce at 50 means you’re not alone. Many have gone through financial changes³⁹ and emotional healing before you. It’s tough to redefine your identity and find independence⁴⁰, but it’s a chance for growth and happiness.

Even though “gray divorce”⁴¹ is common, it’s also a chance to start anew. You can follow your passions and live life on your terms. With the right attitude and support³⁹, you’ll come out stronger and more true to yourself.

Life doesn’t stop after a divorce at 50. In fact, it can start anew in amazing ways⁴⁰. Face the challenges, rely on your friends and family, and believe in yourself. With time and care, you’ll find happiness and fulfillment. The future is yours to make, and there are so many possibilities.

Source Links

1. https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/gray-divorce-after-50.htm
2. https://www.verywellmind.com/gray-divorce-8646068
3. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/11/navigating-late-in-life-divorce
4. https://karencovy.com/tips-survive-divorce-50/
5. https://www.bryanfagan.com/blog/2020/may/over-50-and-getting-divorced-avoid-these-three-p/
6. https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/23/why-gray-divorce-is-a-significant-financial-risk-for-women.html
7. https://www.investopedia.com/personal-finance/mistakes-avoid-when-divorcing-over-50/
8. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/13/business/divorce-retirement-savings-planning.html
9. https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/special-issues-late-life-divorce-32335.html
10. https://www.modernfamilylaw.com/resources/can-my-spouse-prevent-me-from-getting-a-divorce-by-ignoring-it/
11. https://aboutretirement.com.au/how-to-prepare-for-divorce-in-your-50s-or-60s/
12. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/08/best-friend-divorce-healthy-boundaries-advice/671261/
13. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-friendships-take-a-di_b_2546249
14. https://traciemiles.com/105695-2/
15. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/husband-bipolar-disorder-divorce-separation_n_65c4fa69e4b0fb721d601d60
16. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/after-32-years-im-ready-to-leave-my-wife-and-take-a-chance/
17. https://www.gottman.com/blog/this-one-thing-is-the-biggest-predictor-of-divorce/
18. https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/insurance/medicare/divorce-after-60
19. https://www.aarp.org/money/investing/info-2024/protect-money-in-divorce.html
20. https://practicalneurology.com/articles/2014-july-aug/how-to-protect-against-losing-assets-in-a-divorce
21. https://www.ashleyandrewsapc.com/industry-insights/california-is-a-50-50-state-what-that-means-and-how-to-get-around-it
22. https://www.cageandmiles.com/blog/top-asset-protection-strategies-for-your-california-divorce
23. https://www.schwab.com/learn/story/divorce-after-50-impact-on-retirement-savings
24. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/09/19/think-you-know-gray-divorce-you-have-no-idea.html
25. https://www.forbes.com/sites/financialfinesse/2016/09/29/how-to-survive-divorce-after-50/
26. https://medium.com/@laurenhsweeney/why-you-shouldnt-wait-till-your-kids-leave-to-get-a-divorce-ddaa0f384213
27. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-time-to-divorce-and-a-time-not-to_b_8112094
28. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/how-do-you-stop-being-angry-about-divorce/
29. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-divorce-better-bitter-choosegoldmanlaw-akiva-goldman
30. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/my-ex-is-angry-and-bitter-will-it-ever-go-away/
31. https://www.heysigmund.com/when-a-divorce-or-separation-turns-ugly/
32. https://karencovy.com/i-dont-want-to-stay-married-but-im-afraid-to-get-divorced/
33. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-better-divorce/202310/rebuilding-your-life-after-a-gray-divorce
34. https://www.abbeyfield.com/where-to-begin/families-and-relationships/how-to-adjust-to-life-after-divorce-over-50s/
35. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/nov/04/i-think-i-was-relieved-life-on-the-other-side-of-mature-age-divorce
36. https://sixtyandme.com/surviving-a-divorce-after-50-teaches-positive-lessons
37. https://divorcedgirlsmiling.com/what-it-is-like-to-fall-in-love-after-50
38. https://sasforwomen.com/starting-over-after-divorce-at-50-five-stories-on-finding-yourself
39. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/how-to-rebuild-your-life-after-divorce-at-50/
40. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/starting-over-after-divorce-at-50-or-any-age-one-word-matters/
41. https://www.advisorpedia.com/viewpoints/life-after-divorce-for-a-man-over-50/